TIME WARPED
I slept through the alarm clock — again! But in my defense, the kids were up all night throwing up, and I barely got any sleep. Bobby had his birthday at Chuck E Cheese, and we came home with an unwanted party favor. Alex’s mom offered to keep the kids for the day so I could go to work, she is such a jewel! I rushed into the bathroom, and there it was — my toothbrush! I don’t know why, but every time he travels, the sight of that lonely toothbrush makes me want to cry…
“I miss you so much!”
I packed a few things for the kids to take to grandma’s house. Next stop, the coffee pot! The antique clock on the wall showed me I had twenty minutes to get the kids in the car. Unfortunately, before I could reach the coffee pot, I stepped on a little gift the puppy had left for me.
“Yuck, disgusting! Alex, sweetie! Can you please let Honey out?”
While my six-year-old played with the puppy in the back yard, I took care of the mess. The dog had been my husband’s idea. He figured that it would make me feel safer when he had to travel for work. But when the kids found out, they begged for a puppy, and we caved.
I finally got around to the coffee pot — my favorite morning ritual!
“A little bit of Hazelnut creamer…. delish!”
As I began to pour the nectar of the gods into my cup, I had a sudden urge to sneeze –
“Achoo!!! Oh no! No, no, no, no…!”
I spilled it all over my blouse! Little Ari came up to me, put her hand on my belly, and said –
“Don’t worry mommy, it’s going to be ok.”
Ah! The wisdom of a five-year-old! She conjured a smile out of me. Then, I looked down.
“I don’t think the stain-pen is going to do it.”
My pregnant belly already commanded enough attention, without a giant stain in the middle of it. As I ran past the clock to go change, it warned me that I was running out of time.
Somehow, I made it through the morning. I was on editing duty today — uber-frustrating work! My constant trips to the ladies’ room made me lose my focus, and my progress was painfully slow.
“I. Need. More. Caffeine!!!”
But the jury was still out on its effects on a growing fetus, so, it was best to keep my consumption down to a cup a day.
The clock struck five, releasing me from work. Yay, I made it through the day! I had to stop for gas before picking up the kids. An accident had turned the highway into a parking lot, so it took me thirty extra minutes to get there. The worst of it was that I really had to pee.
“I’m so sorry it’s so late!”
Fiona didn’t mind at all, she loved spending time with her grandkids. I found them all fed, bathed, and ready for bed. I gave her a big hug.
“I don’t know what I would do without you!”
She sent me home with a salad, to make sure I had something nutritious to eat. On the way home, the kids told me all about their day. Apparently, Fiona had figured out a way to make eating your vegetables into a fun game!
Years ago, when we had our first kid, Alex and I decided on a night-time routine, because we read about the benefits of structure during child development. Throughout the years we’ve made a few adjustments, but the routine is basically the same. It begins with clean up time, when the kids pick up their toys in order to secure a desert after dinner. Once dinner and desert are done, it’s bath time. And when everyone is ready for bed, each kid picks a book for us to read together. Thank goodness for our king-size bed! We all get under the covers and snuggle, while the adults take turns reading the books aloud. Thanks to Fiona, today I got to skip to the fun part — snuggle-time!
As usual, Christie and Ari fell asleep, while Alex begged for one more book. Usually, my husband would carry the girls to bed, but tonight I was on double duty. Once the girls were in their beds, I went to say goodnight to my little man.
“Mommy, can I read another book by myself?”
He asked sheepishly. I loved that he shared my passion for books.
During our weekly trips to the library, he always took home as many books as he could.
“Which one are you going to read?”
He picked the one about knights — of course! I kissed him goodnight and left him to his book. He looked up at me and said –
“I love you mommy.”
Such powerful words! They worked like spring water, washing away the tediousness of my day!
I went downstairs to find myself a little snack. I opened the pantry.
“Oh man, I didn’t get the grocery shopping done! What do we have here? Saltines — Nah! Animal crackers — Nope. Raisins? Sigh!”
I closed the pantry and went to the fridge –
“Chocolate milk! Now that’s what I’m talking about!”
Even as I said it, I was glad no one else heard my rather pathetic outburst. My sweet tooth was satisfied! But I still had a deadline to meet — my long day was not over yet.
“Or should I say — my short day — since it’s not long enough to get everything done?”
I required a stimulant to keep my mind alert. So, I made myself a cup of ginger-lemon tea.
“Boy, am I tired!”
I settled down in the couch with my work and my tea. The clock on the wall seemed to be frowning at me — its hour-hand was on the eight, and its minute-hand was on the four.
“Why did we pick a clock with Roman numerals on it?”
It had made it harder for Alex to learn to tell time. The quiet house made the clock’s ticking seem louder. I stared at it in a daze –
“The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man.”
This was one of my favorite quotes, written by Alice Morse Earle. My eyelids felt heavy. I tried to focus on my work, but my mind kept wandering away.
“Time…. the tyrant that dictates my life! And clocks? Clocks are like its minions…. watching me…. and constantly reminding me that I’m….”
I drifted off for a second — or was it longer? The clock on the wall had stopped ticking, and the house was very still. I was in a dream-like state.
“Where am I?”
I felt strange. I tried to think, but I could not remember…. Then, I heard a voice. It seemed to be coming from within me.
Am I having a nervous breakdown?”
It spoke to me without a sound, like a song without the lyrics. The voice was in my head — and her name was Jules.
