We are born with an innate desire to believe in something greater than ourselves. Our personal history informs our beliefs concerning what is real in our lives. Even those who claim to believe in nothing, believe in something they perceived as “nothing.” Ultimately, we choose the ideas that shape the narrative of our story.
I was born in Central America. As a kid, I didn’t grow up believing in benevolent magical creatures, such as the Tooth Fairy. The supernatural creatures I knew came from folklore and classic literature — such as the Grimm brothers’ fairytales. Most of the characters in these stories were not the sort that kids want to meet. La Llorona, for instance, was particularly terrifying.
Since I lived near the Equator, I’ve never seen snow, neither was I familiar with sleighs or reindeer. Therefore, when I first heard about Santa Claus I was delighted and intrigued. He wore a bright red suit, so it was tough for him to sneak around and scare you. He ate cookies, instead of little children! He even had magical pets that flew him around. But the best part was that he loved to give presents!
I knew about Saint Nicholas, the Christian saint, who generously provided for little orphans. But he had died a long time ago. Santa Clause, on the other hand, was a magical and eternal creature. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I was eager to find out. Therefore, at the tender age of six, I set out to find the truth about Santa Claus. I thought to myself — “If it turns out to be true, it would be great for me, since I’m a good kid.”
Santa Claus sounded so good — the generous benefactor of good kids everywhere — Saint Nicholas 2.0! The adults around me thought I was foolish. But I was not deterred! My logic was sound — I had nothing to lose — and should it turn out to be true — plenty to gain.
I began by making a list of the things I wanted to know about Santa Claus. It looked something like this –
Questions About Santa:
1. Can he see inside my head?
If he knows whether I’m good or bad, then he must be able to read my mind. Therefore, WHY do I need to write him a letter?
2. What are reindeer?
Are they real animals that received magical powers from Santa? Or are they magical creatures, like unicorns?
3. Why travel by sleigh?
Since Santa was flying, WHY use a sleigh? Why not a rocket? A sleigh would be completely useless to him in a country like mine.
4. Can he really go around the world in one day?
I asked my grandmother, who gave me a book that explained that it can be day in one continent and night in another. I didn’t know how his magic worked, but I knew that it took us a long time to get to my aunt’s house, so it seemed unlikely Santa could really do such a thing.
Next, I wrote the letter. I addressed it to — “Dear Mr. Santa Claus.” I figured I should say something polite to show him I was a good kid, so I thank him for “all he did to help kids.” Then, I listed every little thing my greedy six-year-old heart desired. And I concluded the letter with — “Sincerely, etc.” — which I thought appropriate, since I was being sincere about all the things I wanted.
Fortunately, I was able to skip the mailing-of-the-letter part of the experiment, for there is no residential mail delivery in my country. I figured that if Santa was real, then he would know that. Moreover, if he could read my mind, then the letter was more of a formality anyways. Still, I wanted to keep the letter safe from prying eyes, so I hid it in my underwear drawer. And I waited….
While I waited on the Santa experiment, the time came for Christmas decorations, which consisted in colorful lights, a small fake tree, and a massive nativity set. The lights always went outside the front of the house and were only on at night. The tree was three feet tall and made of silver tinsel. We put it on a little table, so it would stand taller and more visible. But the star of the show was the nativity set! This was my favorite decoration! It was my great honor to be the architect of our very own city of Jerusalem. It was built on a large coffee table, and we used a box to create a mountain. Aluminum foil and little mirrors served as ponds and streams. We had all sorts of animals, many townsfolk, palm trees, and little houses, which populated the little town, and we covered it all with fake grass. The main characters — Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus — were placed at the top of the mountain. The magi were placed on the town, until January 6th, when they reach the manger. And Baby Jesus was respectfully covered with a handkerchief, until midnight on Christmas Eve.
When Christmas Eve arrived, I began to feel excited about my Santa Claus investigation again. I anxiously waited for midnight when we usually opened presents in my home. After I uncovered Baby Jesus, and we ate the traditional grapes, I waited around to see if any presents would materialize. But as you may have guessed, there were none. I went to bed a little disappointed, but my heart was not broken by the absence of the magical fat man in the red suit. The next day life went on as usual, and that was that. Some may be tempted to attribute the failure of my experiment to my lack of faith. However, unlike fairies, in the case of Santa Clause believe is not a requirement for it to become real.
Curiously, as fate would have it, I married an American and moved to a land that takes the Santa Claus myth rather seriously. My husband’s family loved this cultural tradition, even as adults, and made it an important part of the Christmas celebrations. Therefore, when our children became old enough to ask questions about Santa Claus, we had to decide what we would say to them. The idea was to explain it as a nice story, while not focusing on its veracity, for this would likely lead to some controversy. We didn’t want to ruin it for others.
Our Christmas always focused on the birth of Christ, so naturally, we acquired the necessary materials for our children to become the architects of our own little Jerusalem. Eventually, as the kids grew older, the inevitable question was raised — “Is Santa Claus real?” Which we simply answered with — “No, darling” — and we left it at that.
A few years later, when our kids learned how to read, a relative sent the kids a Christmas gift. It was a book about Rudolph the red-nose reindeer. It even had a cassette tape, so that the kid could listen to the story while reading along. It was very sweet! In fact, so sweet that one of our girls became obsessed with the story. Although she had heard us say that it was just a nice story, she decided to test the myth, and proceeded to figure out the truth about Santa Claus for herself.
Not unlike her mother before her, she challenged the status quo. Although I feared she would be disappointed, it was right for her to search out the truth and arrive at her own conclusions. It takes a great strength of heart to believe what others doubt. I was secretly proud of her and thought her very brave. Thankfully, regardless of the outcome of this particular experiment, this was not the last time she defied the prevalent view. Her sharp mind has served her well throughout the years, as she faced far greater struggles and unfavorable circumstances, which allowed her to create a better reality for herself.
When we challenge a myth, we exercise our faith muscles. It’s not easy to question an established belief. Yet, if it is a worthy viewpoint, it will stand the test. A belief becomes truly ours after we come to terms with its relevancy for our lives. If what we hold important does not affect the person we are or the way we live, then what is the point of believing it?
As an adult, my daughter remembered her Santa Claus Test. She said — “I figured that I had nothing to lose!” I am grateful that my children grew up to become adults who understand their beliefs and find their own personal ways to express it. May our world become a place where people can respectfully find expression to their beliefs, so that we may all live surrounded by hope and understanding.
